We rewrote the guide people get when buying funeral services, often after the death of a loved one.
Project scope
- Timeline: 10 months
- Team: 2 content designers, 3 subject matter experts
- Reach: Around 250,000 Californians every year
Partner
Methods
- Content design
- Pair writing
The opportunity
The Cemetery and Funeral Bureau (CFB) regulates funeral businesses. This includes funeral homes, cemeteries, and crematories. These businesses must give customers CFB’s Consumer Guide to Funeral & Cemetery Purchases. The guide helps people understand their options and rights when buying funeral services. Most of the time, people read the guide when they’re dealing with the loss of a loved one.
CFB thought the guide was hard to read. It used terms familiar to state staff, but not to the public. It had long sentences that could be hard to follow. CFB wanted to make the guide easier to read, but didn’t know how to get started.
How we helped
The Office of Data and Innovation (ODI) partnered with CFB to rewrite the consumer guide. We improved it with plain language. It’s a writing style that focuses on making things easier for the audience. It uses common words and short sentences to make information easy to understand.
ODI led the creation of California’s Plain Language Equity Standard. It gives state departments clear guidance on how to write in plain language. Our deep experience with plain language made us an ideal partner to support CFB in this project.
Our approach
We centered our work on building CFB’s skills in plain language.
Training
We began with 2 training sessions for all 28 CFB staff. This gave the bureau a broad foundation in plain language. We introduced them to Hemingway Editor, a tool that finds complex language in real time.
Rewriting
CFB selected 3 staff to rewrite the guide. Each worked on a different section using their new skills and the plain language standard.
The CFB writers had 6 one-on-one meetings with an ODI content designer over 13 weeks. The CFB writer shared their work and got feedback. If a CFB writer needed help with something, the ODI content designer led a pair writing session.
Spotlight: Pair writing
Pair writing is a real-time review of text. An expert or approver brings their knowledge. A plain language writer brings their writing skills.
The ODI content designer asked questions to understand what CFB wanted to say. They then proposed plain language text. CFB staff would check it for accuracy. They worked together on any edits. Pair writing let them make quick progress on the guide.
Final drafting
After pair writing, a lead CFB writer organized the text. They put it in the order people would need when shopping for funeral services.
The lead CFB writer then reviewed the final draft with their ODI content designer. They did more pair writing as needed. The content designer did a final review to make sure the text still met the standard. They also made sure the whole guide had a consistent voice and style.
CFB tested the new guide with Californians of different ages, backgrounds, and education levels. They said it was easy to understand.
What we learned
The project was a success because of a few key factors:
- Leaders set realistic milestones. Having enough time gave them space to work through tough parts without rushing.
- CFB leadership made plain language a priority. Investing in widespread training emphasized its importance to staff.
- ODI and CFB set regular working sessions to keep the project on track.
- CFB staff learned by doing. ODI was there to support CFB writers where they needed it rather than doing the work for them. Over time, CFB writers needed less help as their skills grew.
The revised guide gives clear guidance on how to document your final wishes ahead of time. It clears up misconceptions and provides options. Even more, it provides a roadmap during a time of grief when Californians can be at their most vulnerable.
—Gina Sanchez, Chief, Cemetery and Funeral Bureau