The loss of a loved one is one of the most vulnerable times in people’s lives. They’re navigating grief while making decisions like:
- What will happen to their loved one’s body (like burial or cremation)
- Whether to buy a coffin
- If there will be a funeral
- Where their resting place will be
“There are so many choices you have to make,” says Gina Sanchez, Chief of the Cemetery and Funeral Bureau (CFB). “Costs can quickly add up. It can be overwhelming at a time when people are already stressed.”
To help people with these decisions, CFB issues the Consumer Guide to Funeral & Cemetery Purchases. Funeral homes, crematories, cemeteries, and other licensed businesses must give customers the guide. For years, the guide had a grade 11 reading level.
“I wanted to revise the Consumer Guide as part of the Bureau’s Strategic Plan to increase consumer awareness and use plain language,” Sanchez says. “I wanted the public to easily understand their rights and navigate a difficult process.”
CFB partnered with the Office of Data and Innovation (ODI) to rewrite the guide using plain language. Together, they made it much more readable. The new consumer guide meets California’s Plain Language Equity Standard. It now has a grade 7 reading level.
Training
The first step was improving CFB’s writing skills. They got training in plain language from CalAcademy, ODI’s training program. Everyone at CFB took Introduction to plain language for the public sector. They learned what plain language is, why it’s important, and how to start writing in it.
CFB then chose 3 writers to take Building better services with plain language. In this advanced course, they learned more strategies to use as they rewrote the guide.
CFB was a model training partner. Their team embraced plain language to strengthen their mission. Their work empowers Californians to make informed decisions with confidence.
—Amy Ives, Innovation Program Manager, ODI
Coaching
The CFB writers then partnered with ODI content designers for coaching sessions.
Each CFB writer had a different part of the guide. They drafted new content for their sections. Every 2 weeks, they brought their work to a coaching session with a content designer. The CFB writer could ask questions that came up during their writing and get feedback.
These sessions included line-by-line editing called pair writing Pair writing is a real-time review of text. An expert or approver (in this case, the CFB writer) brings their knowledge. A plain language writer (the ODI content designer) brings plain language skills. Together, they create accurate, simple text that’s easy to read.
CFB edited the consumer guide in 13 weeks. After they finished, leads from CFB and ODI organized the content and gave it one voice.
Results
The new consumer guide performs better across the board:
- Grade 7 reading level (4 grades lower than the old version)
- 82% fewer hard-to-read sentences
- 73% fewer uses of passive voice
- 83% fewer complex terms
It also has 33% fewer pages with 46% fewer words. People can get the information they need faster and with less effort.
This was a 22-page, 7,000+ word document to revise and make plain language. We appreciate ODI’s management, keeping the project stress-free and moving forward. They broke it into manageable pieces, allowing staff to fit it into their regular duties. Although it was hard at first to see how it would all come together, the final result was outstanding!
—Gina Sanchez, Chief, CFB
Early testing with Californians shows the new guide is easier to read. Testers said:
“I read through the new Consumer Guide and found it very understandable.”
“It was easy to understand. As a caregiver for 15 years, I think my patients would also be able to understand and if not, I could easily explain it to them.”
The new consumer guide will be available at funeral establishments across California on January 1, 2027.
CalAcademy offers plain language training to state departments for free. We have virtual and in-person options. If your department would like this or other training, fill out our interest form.
Find out more about this project in our case study.